Sometimes I just want to ramble about everything and nothing at once. Well, I guess this is the definition of rambling anyway! lol
I wish I could really share things, but we end up never doing so, not really. There is always a little part of us that we mean to preserve, to protect. So we leave out where we work, or where we live, or what we are really like and what we really think about things.
I was meaning to write an email to my fellow teachers in Brazil to tell them what I've learnt. I wanted to prepare them in case they would ever live an experience such as the one I am living. But then, would they really want to know? Is it even realistic to think that they will be some day teaching abroad? Would I come across as cocky and condescending?
So I just decided to let it go. I came here instead. I guess there is no place where you are to acknowledge your own victories and not be at the risk of sounding tremendously snobbish and arrogant. Or is there? I really don't know.
I am just so happy to be here, so happy to be able to do what I do even though I often wish to be doing something different, something that demands less from me and pays better.
But I guess it is a beginning and all beginnings are hard. Are they? Adapting to new situations is never easy, of this I'm sure. However, I am pretty much settled in. Food is not an issue, language is not an issue, way of life is not really an issue. Naturally socializing with Canadians or people from any other country apart from Brazil has been virtually impossible. Perhaps as time goes by?
One thing I know; I am where I should be. I should be in Canada, I should be far from Brazil. I should be sitting in this chair, right now, as fall begins, writing these words and having these thoughts. I wish all my friends from old days breakfast and blogs and facebook who are here or about to come to Canada could feel as right as I do.
8 comentários:
You don't sound cocky at all.
Your fellow teachers should be proud of you. I feel proud of you in a way. A Brazilian teacher who managed to find a job as a teacher not only in an English speaking country, but in a wonderful country like Canada! How awesome is that? You are a huge inspiration to everyone.
I dream of going to Canada and it seemed a bit more possible after your experience.
All the best!
Que lindo o texto Mel, estou toda arrepiada!
Beijos
Bem que eu tb queria, Mel... mas nao estou!
Eu nao sei se eh pelo fato de eu estar isolada dos amigos brasileiros de cafe-da-manha, que sao as poucas pessoas que entendem td que passei e estou passando... eu nao sei se eh pq estou "home sick" (o que me parece dificil de acreditar, ja que conscientemente eu nao sinto nenhuma falta do Brasil)... ou se de repente eh porque as coisas que eu ja sabia que seriam dificeis estao se mostrando ainda mais dificeis... nao sei! So sei que td que eu mais quero eh me sentir assim como vc tem se sentido...
Desculpe o desabafo! No proximo desabafo eu pago a cerveja! rsrs
ahaha... tah bom! e onde vai ser? winnipeg? let's meet halfway! acho normal ter uns baixos, nunca serao tudo flores, neh? mas no geral, tem sido bom - claro q poderia ser ainda melhor! :) forca, ai! bjs
obrigada!!!!! :)
always so nice! thanks a bunch for your kind words! when are you guys coming?
Half way nada, Mel... melhor marcar uma aqui, uma ai... assim a gente se diverte 2 vezes!!! rsrsr
Os altos e baixos fazem parte mesmo, ne? Nao vejo a hora de toda essa "perrengue" virar so lembranca!
Mel.. estamos tentando bravamente, mas tem horas que bate o sentimento que a Pati descreveu... Muito louco tudo isso, pq como ela disse, conscientemente não quero nem passar perto do Brasil por enquanto, mas tem horas que dá um aperto no peito... rs
Beijos
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